Sickipedia

Buckingham Palace issues an important news bulletin. You have committed serious crimes against women for over a decade. You shall hereforth leave your residence at Shipley, Bingley - and henceforth shall be known as Peter William Sutcliffe.

For Star Wars fans

I was a bit naughty and had a poo in the office elevator today. And before you ask, the answer is "Yes, I took that shit to another level."

I'm gonna watch Mississippi Burning tonight. I couldn't resist the part on Amazon Prime where it said titles expiring in the next 30 days. I think you'll find Gene Hackman ... Too soon?

Does President Xi sign his emails with his pronouns? It must be as confusing as fuck to read. Same thing for the CEO of Hershey ...

I saw this young woman, at the bus stop, with her nose in her phone. I wanted to check her smartness, so I asked her if she could spell "me", without her phone. She glared at me and said "M-E". I said, you forgot the "D". She said "There's no D in ME". And now, I'm explaining this to the police ...

My feelings about a Labour Government mirror those of a very powerful fart. In the first part, you feel really enthusiastic about the relief, until. ...

I bet all those meteology teachers feel like proper cunts right now ...

Make it cheaper than Aldi homemade cottage cheese by peeing into a milk bottle and leaving it overnight. Don't forget to smash that Like button and subscribe for more life hacks...

So last week, my girlfriend said she wanted to set some boundaries regarding what we could do. This week, she says she just wants to be friends. So here’s me thinking that that doll with added realism was a complete waste of money.