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ozziewanker85

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(1990s flashback) Q: What do you call the five Spice Girls in a toaster? A: Pop-tarts.

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How do Welsh farmers count their sheep? "305, 306, 307, hello darling, 309, 310..."

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According to Australia, COVID stands for "Citizens of Victoria ignoring directions".

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Magician James Randi has now staged his own disappearing act.

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A new perfume has been released as a tribute to victims of the Hindenburg disaster. It's called "Eau de Humanité".

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Neighbours, Craig McLachlan gropes his neighbours...

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A young woman walked into a police station and said, "Excuse me, I was aped." "Don't you mean 'raped'?" asked the desk sergeant. "Yes," the girl replied, "but it was a black man."

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On a scale of Kate and Gerry McCann to Jimmy Savile, how much do you love your kids?

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A naked burglar runs into the local bank and screams, "Nobody move - this is a cock-up!" One of the tellers asks: "Don't you mean a stick-up?" The robber replies, "I left my bloody gun at home."

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