Sickipedia

What do you call a paki with pink hair? Ghandi floss

I had to sack my Ethiopian window cleaner. Every time he needed to refill giant bucket he walked to the next town to do it.

I have had to sack my Ethiopian window cleaner. Every time he needed to refill his bucket he walked to the next town to do it.

I've just sat down in the restaurant with my wife and ordered the hippo soup. Not sure what I'm gonna have yet.

Whilst in America, my son and I went shopping in Wal-mart. I asked the cashier if they had any Kinder eggs. "Oh no, sir, we don't sell them in the States - they are a health hazard!" "Okay," I replied. "I'll just take these two assault rifles then."

John Terry tried to put the racism trial behind him by taking his family to the zoo. "Come here, kids," he said, pointing through the glass. "Look at that monkey! Ooh ooh ooh!" The whole family laughed, before Terry pulled his wallet out and said, "Sorry, mate. Two adults and two children, please."

Today, Californians set a new record by getting 67 people on a surfboard at the same time. It smashed the previous record set by 51 Ethiopians on a Ryvita.

I went to my hairdresser and said, "Can you cut my hair like David Bowie?" He made a right mess of it. I said, "This is terrible!" He said, "Yeah, but David Bowie can't cut hair..."

I've just invented a computer game based on the special olympics. It's called WiiTards

I take my hat off to all the immigrants who come to start new lives in this country. I've got, 'Fuck off back home' tattooed on my head.