Sickipedia

“I like to move it, move it” - Not anymore, he doesn’t.

Dyslexia is not to be made fun of. It’s not big and it’s not fanny

My loser of a son never did well at school. One day he came home crying. “What’s up?” I asked. “Well, my maths teacher asked me to stay behind, and then he forced me to suck his dick. So I went and told the headmaster, and he too, forced me to suck his dick.” He replied. So I flopped out my pecker and said “this ain’t your lucky day, tubby.”

I remember when I found my first grey pube. In a bucket of KFC.

As I was licking out my sister I noticed my son filming me on his iPhone. What a dirty bastard

Me and my family were at the workingmen’s club attending an LGBT fundraiser. My son: I’m partial to a bit of cock. Me: What a coincidence, I like me some cock too. Stranger: What a couple of Mo’s. Does anyone in your family like minge? My wife: Yeah, me.

My wife says my lying is ruining our marriage. But I reckon it’s my big dick.

What’s the worst thing about licking a bald fanny? Trying to put a new nappy back on.

I gave my son an ultimatum. Stop sucking off old men for money. “That reminds me dad, you owe me a fiver.” He replied

My wife asked me if I’ve ever pissed in the bath. “Yeah, quite a few times, by accident.” “You filthy cunt,” she replied. “Wait a minute, what do you mean by accident?” “Well,” I said, “these things happen when you’re trying to shit.”