Sickipedia

In today's Metro: Trump threatens to leave U.S. if he loses election to Joe Biden. *promises

After reading about how meat production affects the environment, I decided to give Quorn a try. Next day I emitted more greenhouse gases than the USA and China combined.

Katie Hopkins has just turned 45. Which makes her 45 in dog years.

I saw this video of a bouncing baby boy earlier, and it's had me chuckling to myself all day. That LiveLeak site has some fucked-up dashcam footage.

Find a penny, Pick it up, And all day long You'll have good luck.* *Advice not valid in prison showers

An Israeli man 'cried tears of relief' on learning that his daughter had been murdered by Hamas, rather than taken hostage. He told reporters, 'Oy vey! For a while there I thought I might get asked for a ransom.'

I can't believe I've landed a 30-day ban from Facebook, just for posting a Hitler meme. What is this, Nazi Germany?

I've often wondered what it'd be like to be a fly on the wall in Finsbury Park Mosque. Crowded, I'd imagine.

There was a 'member of the travelling community' in front of me in the queue at HMV yesterday. 'Yeah, I wanna refund for this Jimmy Carr DVD, that joke about my people was disgraceful!' 'Do you have a receipt, Sir?' 'Course not, I nicked the fucker.'

McDonald's has branches in Africa nowadays. The customers must prefer them to tables and chairs.