Sickipedia

Beats me why some sad cunt on here spends time logging into multiple ip's to vote down Hannah's jokes every day. I just come here to check out the jokes I don't really care who's on the leaderboard. Get a life pal.

I went to the hardware store and saw a new shade of red paint called 'Hannah red'. It's not very bright but it's cheap and it spreads easily.

A Glaswegian takes his girlfriend home for the first time and introduces her to his father. "This is Amanda" His dad jumps up and shouts furiously "It's a fuckin' what?!"

I raped this girl a couple of months back and now I have AIDS. How the fuck does a seven year old get AIDS?

My 5 year old son asked how he was born. So I said, well son, daddy pounded your mom's tight pussy while choking her out and spanking her ass. I flipped her over and started fucking her ass, I nearly came in her ass so you nearly weren't born but I stuck my throbbing cock back in her pussy. I think when I started punching your mom in the back of her head it made me cum. When mommy told me she was pregnant I threw her downstairs but it didn't work. And that's how you were born.

How do you swat 50 flies at once? Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a shovel.

A customer approaches the ship assistant and asks, "In what aisle could I find the Irish sausage?" The assistant asks, "Are you Irish?" The guy, clearly offended, says, "Yes I am. But let me ask you something. If I had asked for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian? Or if I had asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or if I had asked for a Taco, would you ask if I was Mexican? Or if I asked for Polish sausage, would you ask if I was Polish?" The assistant says, "No, I probably wouldn't." The guy says, "Well then, just because I asked for Irish sausage, why did you ask me if I'm Irish?" The assistant replied, "Because this is Argos"

Was watching father Ted with my son last night and he asked me if father Ted really molested little boys. "No son, he's not a real priest" I replied.

You can tell a lot about a person just by reading their jokes. For example I can tell innit at the top of the leaderboard is black because all his material is stolen.

I invited my mate Bob round to the house after work today. As I walked through the door my wife started yelling, "I've not done my hair, not done my make up, not done any housework, not done the dishes and I can't be bothered with cooking! What the fuck did you invite him round for?" "'he's thinking of getting married." I replied.