Sickipedia

You hear about them two mentally disabled lads who opened their own left handed shop? The council tried shutting them down because of discrimination against right handed people? Two mongs don't make a right.

The wife decided to get me back for cheating with her mate on the bench in my local park by shagging my mate on the roundabout. What goes around cums around.

My mate lost a testicle some years ago in a cycling accident. He’s now telling me the NHS have offered him a bionic one and once again he’ll have two. Complete bollocks if you ask me.

There’s been a lot in the news today about tanks being needed, artillery and other lethal aid to help them stand a chance? But enough about Liverpools gang war, I wonder how the Ukrainians are getting on?

My mate Dave just burst in through my door asking for a favour? But the daft c*nt tripped and fell into my stash of marijuana. A friend in need is a friend in weed.

I’m new on this amazing site? Sappnin lads? Just a question? Who’s that Wasp gimp? His jokes are fucking terrible?

Hear about the court jester robbed in the Trafford Centre whilst performing and trying to earn some electric & gas money? A fool and his money are soon parted.

It’s emerged that poor bloke killed by the five coppers in the states was a big Elvis fan? He was just walking in Memphis. …I’ll get my BLM poster.

I was just talking to one of my E.O.D mates about leaving the British Army and working for me in my new business venture. I’m gonna make him an offer he can’t diffuse.

I was testing out my new spot light in the garden last night with my mate Dave the Dwarf whilst listening to Queen. ...I saw a little silhouetto of a man.