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The midwife who delivered me said that I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth. Nice woman. Fucking useless abortionist.
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What do you call a gay on fire? LGBBQ
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When I first met my wife she said, “It’s a good job you’re cute because you’re probably the cheesiest guy I’ve ever met.” I said, “Whatever love, just keep sucking.”
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Just watched the black version of This Is Your Life... or 'Crime Watch' as it's more popularly know.
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Valves, they'll always have a special place in my heart ...
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I was going to buy my wife breast implants made from timber, but she said that would fucking stupid... wooden tit.
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My mate is an arsonist who is also into incest. He keeps setting fire to his sister.
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Was just down at the doctor's, almost walked in on him administering a smear test. A bit of a close scrape...
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How do you make a cat bark? Pour petrol over it and throw a match... WOOF!!!
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My boss stormed over and yelled, "What the hell are you playing at? Put some backbone into it". I hate working at the McDonald's factory.
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