Sickipedia

Having spent my long and lucky career in Hollywood, I am appalled by the conviction of Harvey Weinstein. This case of trial by public opinion has landed an innocent man in jail. As a woman who worked with him many times, I can attest that he was a total gentlemen and never once touched me or sexually approached me. Yours, Kathy Bates.

When talking about business, the three most important words are 'location, location, location'. When talking about 'management philosophy', the three most important words are 'masturbation, masturbation, masturbation'.

Taking a knee to commemorate George Floyd is a bit like paying your respects to David Carradine by having a wank

My girlfriend's as fit as a fiddle, albeit one that's been passed around the whole band.

What do you call a Russian gender reassignment surgeon? Pulya Dickoff

"Don't you hate it when you've got a stonking hard-on but you're stuck at work for several more hours?" "I meant do you have any questions about the job or today's interview"?

As far as I'm concerned, Down's Syndrome is no excuse for not having faaaabulous hair.

How many trans activists does it take to change a lightbulb? Fifty. One to change it, 49 to tweet about what a hero they are.

After criticising Black Lives Matter, my local priest has been forced to take a racial sensitivity course, sitting there, listening to some pompous arse talk condescending nonsense. Let's see how he likes it.

Goal-line technology's nothing new to me. My wife's been asking me for years whether it was in or not.