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justanotherdave

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Have you ever smoked a cigarette in your car and tried to throw it out the window and a minute later you smell something and turn around to find your grandma fingering herself in the back seat?

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The new iPhone will have an erectile dysfunction app as standard. It's called auto-erect.

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Funeral costs are so bloody expensive these days. At my mother-in-law's, after paying for the bouncy castle and pony rides, we could barely afford the face-painting.

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Daily Mail online: "Masturbation may help prevent the common cold." Hope so, I've got no tissues left

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