"Daddy, why do people think Santa's white when he's actually black?" asked my daughter.
"Honey, Santa is a big, fat white man with a gray beard," I said, a little concerned. "What kind of woke nonsense are they teaching you at school these days?"
"It's not from school, Daddy!" she said. "Mommy said her friend Tyrone is the real Santa, and he comes to fix the chimney while you're at work."
Don't you hate it when your finger rips through the toilet paper and goes all the way up the bum?
It happens that often, my wife has banned me from wiping our daughter's ass from now on.
The look of devastation and heart break on my mother's face as she caught my father cheating was more than I could handle.
So I finished him off under the sheets.
Deciding whether to come out of the closet or not was the toughest choice I've ever had to make.
I was busting for a piss but my daughter hadn't finished masturbating.
My son walked in on me masturbating earlier.
"What are you doing, Daddy?" he asked.
"It's call wanking, Son." I replied "You'll be doing this soon."
"Why Daddy?" he asked.
"Because my arm is fucking killing me!"
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