Sickipedia

The Queen was in Kensington today to declare Philpott Towers childrens home - open!.

When you see a catastrophe like Grenfell Tower happen. Affecting asylum seekers who only came here to improve their lives but suffered horrific deaths. You can only conclude that there is no god. Otherwise, Prince Phillip would have never been allowed to miss out on this one.

In the election, Labour won Kensington by 220 votes after 2 recounts. If there are only 58 people missing from Grenfell Towers, then according to the postal votes from those flats, the Met has the body count wrong, or the Tories had a majority of 4000!.

The fifth body in the Leicester shop explosion has been formally identified as the mother of 2 teenagers who also died. Her family are said to be in bits.

Don't try a contactless transaction in a brothel...

If the Russian victims had left Wetherspoons and not Zizzi, would it have even made the news?.

Trump threatened to wipe North Korea off the map, yet now he's saying he's going there to meet Rocket Man. I know Americans are reputed to be slow but come on, gift horse, mouth. 2 birds, one stone. Do I have to paint a picture?.

I remember when I could have sex every hour of the night. Nowadays, I don't get the adult channel freeviews.

Jamie Carragher will not be appearing on Monday night football. He has a previously arranged booking alongside Bob Carolgees.

I had the sound off when Ken Dodd's picture flashed up. Cardiff City must be looking for a new manager, I thought.