Sickipedia

What’s the difference between Megan Markle and Prince Philip? Prince Philip might still be alive in April.

My wife said to me ‘ you are going to have to stop quoting Bill Withers lyrics every time you speak to me’ ‘I know I know I know I know I know’ .

After a met police officer was discovered to be a member of a neo nazi group, there is to be an overhaul of the vetting process. ‘ we cannot let in people with these vile characteristics and beliefs’ said a Neo Nazi spokesperson.

Former barrister, amateur motor racing driver and sadomasochistic nazi orgy frequenter Max Mosley has died. I wonder how he will be remembered.

I see a crocodile and president Macron have both been smacked in the face on the same day. I can understand why someone would want to hit a horrible dangerous reptile but why would anyone try and hurt a crocodile?

Beautiful flowers, soft music and I’d even made a real effort and put a suit on. The atmosphere felt right to ask my girlfriend for a blow-job. She told me to fuck off and said I was insensitive. I wish she’d gone to her mum’s fucking funeral on her own.

Scotland’s Billy Gilmour tests positive for Covid. Anyone that’s been within 2 metres of him will have to self isolate. So the England midfield needn’t worry.