Sickipedia

FIFA President Infantino: "Today, I feel gay." He might be full of shit, but he's got some balls saying that in Qatar.

Infantino: "Today, I feel Qatari. Today, I feel Arab. Today, I feel African. Today, I feel gay. Today, I feel disabled." Assistant: "Sir, can you please stop touching up all the fans?"

Nasa expects humans to live on Moon this decade! The UK Government are excited, because Rwanda just isn't far enough.

BBC News: How To Keep Costs Down This Winter! How about me not paying my fucking TV license?

BBC: Nottingham - Murder probe as children, three and one, die. Someone at the BBC is now currently probing child two.

"Gwent Police texts are appalling." - Welsh Secretary Of course they are; they're in Welsh!

That was the most pathetic Argentinian performance since The Falklands.

New astronauts to be announced after 22,000 people applied. The only confirmed astronaut is James Corden. He didn't apply, everyone just wants him off this fucking planet.

Police to text 70,000 victims in UK's biggest anti-fraud operation. A Nigerian Prince has been asked to send the texts so make sure to click the link!

The German team were photographed with their hands over their mouths, protesting the silencing of themselves and others. Coincidentally, hands over mouths is the exact same action the Jews took the moment they realised they were being gassed.