Sickipedia

7 out of 10 cats! Just kiddin. RIP Sean Locke you fuckin legend

“Come down to Plymouth” they said. We’ll take a load of shots and get wasted” they said.

I’m thinking of going down to Plymouth Argyle. I’ve heard they’ve got a new guy who is always on target and takes decent shots.

The authorities suspicions where raised when Gilfi Sigurdson said he wanted to write and perform the new Space Jam movie theme tune just like his idol R Kelly.

Younger party goers will have to be double jabbed to go out clubbing. Meaning clubs will probably be catering to a slightly older audience than normal. Where is Gilfi Sigurdson going to stalk his prey now?

Jadon Sancho has said that “hate” will never win. Well, that might all depend on if it goes down to a penalty shootout out with England. In that case, I would say “hate” has got a pretty good bloody chance of winning.

It’s not all bad news for Rashford, Sancho and Saka. Disney have said they’ve admired the gentleman’s penalty shots and would like to offer them all a role in the next Star Wars film as stormtroopers.

So Anne Robinson has now taken over as the host of Countdown. Well that makes it an all female cast of presenters then. To commemorate this, once a month they are going to hang on every single word that is said, make ludicrous statements how the show is “easier for men” to host. Extra points will also be awarded to words like “backache” and “moodswing” And the countdown clock is going to be replaced by a full blood moon with the overbearing sound of Suzie Dents body clock ticking away for good measure.

I heard house prices aren’t the only thing coming down in Miami theses days.

It’s a shame only 3 teams benefited because I would have put Scotland easily in the top 4 of that group.