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Things i have in common with Santa.. 1. I eat other peoples food if left unnattended. 2. I come once a year. 3. I have a heavy sack. 4. I am a fat fuck.
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Its mad to think that its already 2019 in Austrailia. Yet in parts of Belfast it will always be 1690. 🍾🥂 Happy New Year to all Sickipedians... except the ginger ones obviously.👍🏻🍻
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True story. So was out with collegues, last sunday, at the Tullyglass hotel near Ballymena when our morbidly obese fat cunt of a supervisor went up to the carvery and came down with a loaded plate that you needed to see to believe. He sat down and huffed "Fuck sake I forgot to get gravy". At that point the waitress was taking our drinks order an asked what he would like. I quip " A pint of gravy for him please". The poor girl nearly wet herself laughing, as did everyone else at the table, except poor fatso who went a new shade of red. Guess who wont be getn any overtime for a while...
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Sombody get on the phone to Ade Edmondson. His character 'Vyvyan' in 'THE YOUNG ONES' had his head knocked off on a train after reading a cluttered sign that said 'PLEASE DO NOT PUT HEAD OUT OF WINDOW' and being curious he wondered why. He could be on a winner here as it was all caught on camera. Check it out on youtube. Funny as fk.
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So the dead ' Keith FLINT' jokes have SPARKED duplicate jokes.im sure the MODs heads are LIT trying not let the site cash and BURN. I bet it will IGNITE a few FIREfights. Could end up with the SMOLDERING VAPEMAN Smacking a few bitches up and issuing bans. 'SSSSMOKIN'
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Th grand old Duke of nonce he really was a Ponce He paid 12 mill to an American girl That he never got to fk (ahem) When he was up he was up. When she went down she went down And when he was only half way up he shuck it in her brown. P Ayres.
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Big nod to Jizz... Madonna wrote a song about the time she was gangbanged by Gary Glitter, Jimmy Savile and Rolf Harris as a ten year old child 'Last night🎵 I dreamt of 🎶some peados🎵'
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Richard Donner R.I.P. I had a lot in common with the American director. I have a Lethal Weapon too. I'm a jahidi suicide bomber.
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Fair play to Rachael Blackmore and Katie Taylor for reaching the heights they have. I always knew that if an Irish woman was going to excel at anything in this world it would be fighting and riding like a champion.. go on ya dirty mare ye.
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I tell you what... iv just seen the videos on Wattsapp. That new 'CALL OF DUTY, MOSQUE RUN' is very graphic.
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Guidelines, Information and Rules
Hi! To ensure that this is a great place for everyone to have a wondeful time, we have some rules. Breaking them might result in a suspension or permanent ban from the site.
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Jokes must be in text format, no emojis or linking allowed.
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As a measure to prevent spam and reposts, we are limiting the number of jokes a user can submit.
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If you post a NSFW image as meme, it must be tagged as NSFW.
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Do not repost from all time top list.
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Metaposts are not allowed. If you've something to ask then please go to forum.
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No posting personal information.
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Reposts and duplicate jokes are not allowed.
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Photographs, gifs and videos depicting nudity, sexual poses or acts, if censored
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Child Exploitation content
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As a measure to prevent spam, we are limiting the number of jokes a user can submit
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Content designed to intimidate a person or group by any means including, doxxing, murder or injury, rape, harrasment etc.
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Meta posts are not allowed, however you can contact admin or a moderator.
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Promoting false information
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