Sickipedia

Breaking News: Prime Minister May has just raised the terror threat from Muslim to Islam.

London Mayor Sadiq Khan describes himself as an agnostic Muslim. What the hell is an agnostic Muslim? I presume it's a man who is not sure God exists, but if he does, it must be the Islamic version.

Spot the deluded politician: "Fill a man's head full of Islamic myths and he becomes as dangerous as a dog with rabies" - Sir Winston Churchill. "The Islamic faith is the most evil theology on the planet" - William Gladstone "Islam has all the makings of a thoroughgoing cult of death" - Thomas Jefferson "Islam is a wonderful faith" - Theresa May

A question for dummies: Did the terrorist suspect just arrested worship at A: Church B: Temple c: Cathedral D: Gospel Hall C: The place we can't mention

One question remains unanswered about Donald Trump's state visit to Britain: Will he arrive with his trophy wife or his daughter wife?

The head of Scotland Yard has just said they've no idea about the motive behind the Tube terrorism. I bet it's those rioting Methodists again

Why did Harry Redknapp leave Birmingham City? A: POOR RESULTS B: THE PLAYERS REBELLED C: THE TAXMAN ARRIVED AT THE GROUND

Within a few minutes of the London Tube terrorism was there anything we could infer about the terrorist on the basis of his behavior? Was he of low or high intelligence? Was he popular at work? Was he gay or straight? What music did he like? Was he black or white? What football team did he support? His behavior is simply mute on questions of this sort. Why was it so easy then, so trivially easy - you could almost bet your life on it easy - to guess the young man went by the name of Alan Akbar?

UK terror threat levels: Critical (Muslims) Severe (Muslims) Substantial (Muslims) Moderate (White Supremacists) Extremely low (Anglicans, Hindus, and Sikhs) Non existent (Quakers)

What's the difference between recent Crystal Palace managers and Joseph Stalin's henchmen? Stalin's henchmen only wasted 40 million.