Sickipedia

I popped into town to buy some Easter eggs for my kids and stumbled across this Down's syndrome girl crying her eyes out in the mall. I asked her what was wrong, she told me that her parents had been a car crash yesterday, her Mum was killed and her Dad was in a coma. On top of this she'd just been told she had leukaemia at only 13 years old. I told her I could help her feel better and took her back to my car in the NCP. We drove up to the 3rd floor which was empty and gave her a bit of a grope, another car came in so I drove up another floor and showed her how to wank me off. After a while another car came so I drove up to the 5th floor and munched her mong minge. The car park was still filling up so I went up to 6th and gave her my daughter's Haribo egg to let me fuck her up the arse. I got her to suck her own shit off my cock on the top floor and said her if she ever told anyone what we'd just done I'd pull the plug on her Dad's life support and take her cancer pills off her, she ran away crying. I've just got home feeling a bit guilty - I know this was wrong on so many levels!

!! SUSPICIOUS !! I have tried to upvote umpteen fresh jokes this morning, 3/4 of them tell me I've already voted. My username does not appear in the record of people who liked the joke so it must be a downvote. Assuming newest Sicki has a database of IP addresses to prevent multiple voting attempts, has this been hacked by some moron who wants to create a new type of nuisance on here? Anyone else getting this?

Why is there no black character in the game 'Cluedo'. Because then it would have to be re-named 'Solvedo'.

During summer Britney Spears said that she would never perform in public again while her father remained her Conservator. Now she's free! She's planning to release new covers of other artist's work starting with; They're Coming to Take Me Away, Ha-Haaa! by Napolean XIV https://youtu.be/tnPG1v61AEk (Feel free to add your own!)

Footprints in the Sand (reworked):- One night I dreamed a dream. As I was walking along the beach with my Lord. Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life. For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand, One belonging to me and one to my Lord. After the last scene of my life flashed before me, I looked back at the footprints in the sand. I noticed that at many times along the path of my life, especially at the very lowest and saddest times, there was only one set of footprints. This really troubled me, so I asked the Lord about it. "Lord, you said once I decided to follow you, You'd walk with me all the way. But I noticed that during the saddest and most troublesome times of my life, there was only one set of footprints. I don't understand why, when I needed You the most, You would leave me." He whispered, "My precious child, when you saw only one set of footprints, I was seeing to one of my other 2½ Billion followers you needy bastard!"

Beth Matthews: Swansea woman with Down's Syndrome signed by modelling agency. Soon to be the face of King Edward potatoes.

Coastguard intercepts boat off Columbia with 2 metric tonnes of cocaine. Or, as Maradona would have called it, Breakfast!

Operational post:- I've been getting increasing problems with a site glitch. If I try to vote on a joke I often get a message telling me I already voted on this post even though I'm 100% positive I haven't. A check confirms that my name's not amongst the upvoters. Anyone else getting this?

I haven't checked in with Sicki for nearly a fortnight, I see Stan Lee is still dead?

I think it's going to be a big culture shock for Kamala Harris on her first day in the job, I hope she doesn't get confused; poor dab won't know whether to liaise with Congress, pass the dutchie or open a corner shop.