Sickipedia

I did two hours straight in the gym earlier. Then this really cute guy walked past.

Warning: This movie 'MAY' contain nudity? Either it does or it doesn't, don't waste my time.

I was lying next to my new girlfriend and I said, "you're different to all the other girls I've slept with." She said, "that's because I'm a bloke, you twat." That's what I love about Martin... She's got a great sense of humour.

My girlfriend's getting angry because I won't stop my flamingo impression. So I've had to put my foot down.

Why is it women go mad for Edward Cullen out of Twillight but when i turn up in their bedroom covered in blood trying to bite them all i get is a kick in the knackers and a 6 month suspened sentence, once again its one rule for mythical sparkly nosferatu peadophiles and another for joe public.

I think my teacher fancies me; there were loads of kisses all over my homework... Oh, and a photo of his cock.

If I had a pound for every time I was called a retard, I would have over a thousand dollars.

What's the difference between an angry man and a gay arab?..... One's shaking a fist.......

If quizzes are quizical, then what are tests?

I ate an entire bag of Rohypnol last night, and it didn't even affect me. Anyway, got to go. I need to do some last minute Christmas shopping.