Sickipedia

I told my 90-year-old granny a joke today. It wasn't funny but she still pissed herself.

Nice to see the Bulgarian fans remember the Goodies, half of them were doing the Funky Gibbon.

I got a rejection letter from the origami university today, I’m not sure what to make of it.

A man says to the receptionist "When I donate blood, I do not extract it myself, a nurse does it for me." The receptionist replied,"Yes sir, but this is a sperm bank, and it doesn't work that way."

After a long battle with Leukemia, and a few failed attempts at Suicide, my Dyslexic friend finally passed his spelling test.

I'm doing my bit for the environment, I only have sex with guys who have sustainable wood.

"Land of Hope an glory" and "Rule Britannia!", will not be sung at the Proms this year, Plans to replace them with "Camptown Races" and "Pick a bale of cotton", have been short listed.

How many remoaners does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they would rather hold a vote to leave the same broken one in place.

My Grandad always said, “as one door closes, another opens”, Lovely man, terrible cabinet maker.

Sir Kier Starmer would like it to be known he has never arranged an illegal Christmas Party. In fact he is incapable of organising any party.