Sickipedia

I reckon the Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents missed a trick by not having as their tag line..... Live long and RoSPA

Serena Williams visited her doctor after she noticed a large amount of hair growing over her body since becoming pregnant. She lifted up her top to reveal a black bushy thatch on her chest and stomach. The doctor asked her, "How far down does the hair go?" "All the way to my bollocks." She replied.

Did you hear about the thalidomide porn star? Had an arm like a baby's cock.

Dave takes his girlfriend Sharon home to meet his parents for the first time. Unfortunately she suffers with horrendous flatulence and can't control her arse guffs. They sit down to dinner and immediately, Sharon drops one. Dave's dad looks at the pet dog sat next to Sharon and shouts, "Under Rover, under!" A relieved Sharon thinks to herself, "What a result, he thinks it was the dog" A few minutes later, Sharon let's rip again, this time louder than before. Again, Dave's dad looks at the dog and shouts, "Under Rover, under!" Sharon is amazed and for the next 20 minutes she farts with gay abandon and each time, Dave's dad shouts at the dog. Dessert is finally served and Sharon's arse delivers an almighty final eruption, the loudest and smelliest yet. Dave's dad jumps to his feet and yells at the dog, "Under Rover under, before she fucking shits on you."

Boycotting Where a male Jamaican baby sleeps.

Apparently, in his early days, Glen Campbell assisted referees at football matches in Derby. He was a Linesman for The County.

Glen Campbell lost an awful amount of weight in the latter stages of his illness. So much that the staff in the hospice called him The Nine Stone Cowboy.

"Holmes, why are you spreading that yellow curd all over my bum hole?” "Lemon entry, my dear Watson."

Yorkshire couple Stan and Ethel go on a self catering holiday to Majorca. When they get there they realize they forgot to pack gravy granules for their must have Sunday roast so they go to the local, overtly racist, English owned shop. Stan says to the shopkeeper, "Has tha the Bisto?" Shopkeeper replies, "Fuck off you Spanish prick."

"Trump Criticized For Soft Response" Well, in fairness to the trump, surely anything harder would have been a pooh.