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ddraiggoch

8 years ago-Religion-Christianity-Post Rating : 0

Footprints in the Sand (reworked):- One night I dreamed a dream. As I was walking along the beach with my Lord. Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life. For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand, One belonging to me and one to my Lord. After the last scene of my life flashed before me, I looked back at the footprints in the sand. I noticed that at many times along the path of my life, especially at the very lowest and saddest times, there was only one set of footprints. This really troubled me, so I asked the Lord about it. "Lord, you said once I decided to follow you, You'd walk with me all the way. But I noticed that during the saddest and most troublesome times of my life, there was only one set of footprints. I don't understand why, when I needed You the most, You would leave me." He whispered, "My precious child, when you saw only one set of footprints, I was seeing to one of my other 2½ Billion followers you needy bastard!"

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Freshly Dug from the Graveyard

Dear Democratic Socialists, Please stop comparing me to Trump. I'm one of you guys! Sincerely, Adolf Hitler.

innit

4 hours ago

If your woman put on weight over the holidays, suggest some exercise. Get her to walk 3 miles in the morning and 3 miles in the evening. By the end of January, the problem should be about 42 miles away.

bumblebee

4 hours ago

Wife finds a pair of women's panties in the laundry that aren't hers. She confronts husband: "Whose are these?!" Husband: "They're yours. I bought them for you as a surprise." Wife: "Really? Then why do they say 'Nigel's Bitch' on the waistband?" Husband: "…Because Nigel helped pick them out. Team effort."

pmmeyourtits

5 hours ago

Wife finds a pair of women's panties in the laundry that aren't hers. She confronts husband: "Whose are these?!" Husband: "They're yours. I bought them for you as a surprise." Wife: "Really? Then why do they say, 'Chad's Bitch' on the waistband?" Husband: "…Because Chad helped pick them out. Team effort."

redneon

7 hours ago

A hunter accidentally shoots himself in the genitals with his shotgun. A few hours later, while lying in a hospital bed, he’s approached by his doctor. Doctor: “The good news is, you’re going to be okay. The bad news is there’s some pretty significant buckshot damage to your penis, so I’m going to have to refer you to my sister.” Hunter: “Is she a plastic surgeon?” Doctor: “No. She plays the flute… she’ll teach you where to put your fingers so you don’t piss in your face.”

aloofloofah

8 hours ago

Fresh Hell's Feedback (Comments)

redneon nice one

3 hours ago - View Post

bigbubba Made a note in my diary on the way over. It simply says "bugger"

2 days ago - View Post

gmax FFS, another infant school playground unfunny post. What is it at playtime? "Join on with my gang"

2 days ago - View Post

apemansacuntwithav Good for you….

2 days ago - View Post

zinger549 Moses called. He wants his joke back

2 days ago - View Post

risco Old,childish and typical of this shitshow!

3 days ago - View Post

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