Sickipedia

Fuck I remember the days when I was a kid you could go into a shop with £1 and come out with 2 tins of coke, a wham bar, a bag of crisps and 2 magnums.... ...nowadays... Fuckin CCTV everywhere.

Why did Prince Andrew cross the road? To buy antiperspirant. Wasp blocked me. How odd. I've always defended his right to post puerile, repetitive, unfunny, elongated, repetitive (intentional error), repetitive, boring jokes that betray latent homosexuality. Then he blocks me? Dude. Maybe it was accidental.

Name something that feels British but isn't? The contents of the British Museum. Pay attention pikeys ...that's how it's done proper

Mystery fans. Don't waste your time reading Ruth Rendell novels or playing Cluedo. Just post something on here and try and work out which miserable twat keeps voting you down.

Shitnose/cockhole: I keep losing things mummy. Mummy: what do you mean son? Shitnose/cockhole: my keys, my wallet, my fanny pads, but most of all MY POINTS!

Me love christmas, tip toeing around the house, kids excited, all asleep dreaming of santa, the stockings mistletoe and all the presents under the tree . Then me love to have a mince pie and a glass of sherry , Then me scoop all the shit up put it in me sack and fuck off before anyone wakes up.

That Henry Vincent in one foul swoop has ruined the good name that our trusted gypsy folk have took years to build up.

Well I had 193 points knocked off this Sunday night? At last we've had some decent critics in this weekend?..lol x

I just saw a black guy running down the road with a Cape on. I shouted, "Are you a Superhero?". He said, "No, I haven't paid for my haircut!".

If you adopted a snow leopard for £3.00 a month 5 years ago. What you have actually achieved is to pay £180 for a stuffed toy.