Sickipedia

Nature can be incredibly cruel, like when a baby giraffe gets eaten alive by hyenas. Or when a fat bird has small tits.

Once when we went to France, we went out of our way and changed our itinerary when my wife got excited hearing about "The Burghers of Calais." 5 different Burger Kings she stormed in the area that day.

My wife's three defining features are her morbid obesity, she's a huge Beatles fan, and she's incontinent One can say that she gets by with a little help from Depends.

Not saying my wife's fat, but one time I went to the pub without her, and the barman asked me where my other three quarters was.

I took this minging fat bird home with me and I was straight into her knickers, "Whoah, stop, " she said, "are you not going to try and arouse me first?" "Ok, " I replied, "hang on a minute, I'll just go and get you a piece of cake out of the fridge. "

My wife told me she was thinking about hanging herself in the cellar and I exclaimed, "Please for the love of God, don't fucking do it !.... " "That rafter always looked like it could maybe only take 400 lbs at most."

My wife wrecked the car earlier and to make it up she spread for me her arse and said "Stick it in here big boy !" "No thanks," I said, looking at it... "It looks like two pigs fighting over a Milk Dud."

On Saturday night, my wife had a donor kebab. This other slender lady thought it best to immediately give her sandwich to the fat beast, for her own safety

After I orgasmed into my wife, I rolled over twice to get off of her, then I asked her breathlessly, "Was it good for you ?" "No, you've missed and cum into a fat roll inside my inner-thigh again."

35 years of marriage, and I certainly wouldn't throw my wife put of bed.... I mean, couldn't.