Sickipedia

When reading a 'Whodunnit?' murder mystery book start with the last page and then enjoy the sense of smug superiority as you then read the exploits of the so called 'professional' detective, who takes several chapters to find out what you already know.

Saw that Kellie Maloney on the telly, she said she hasn't sponsored any ring action since she transitioned.... I rather doubted the veracity of this.

I remember when Thomas Crooks was just something you said when you got sent on a shit Holiday...

Fucking hell the lead singer from A Flock of Seagulls has done alright for himself. I saw him on telly having some snap with The Queen yesterday and today he was havin the crack with The PM. His missus is quite tidy an all. I'll wager he's got a few photographs of her!

My 85 year old grandad lives in a residential home. Last week he informed us that he has become transgender. When asked why he said that it was clearly obvious from looking at the residents that women live longer than men.

Came home and said to my wife with a cheeky wink “Want to see something long and hard? It will keep you going for hours?” “Sure” came the reply with a lick of the lips. I handed her the guardian crossword and announced “Here, I’m off to the pub. Don’t wait up.”

It's been reported that Trump is busy picking his cabinet. IKEA have been contacted but refused to comment.

Rachael Blackmore, great jockey/guitarist

There are three words in life that will open a lot of doors for people. Please, Push and Pull...

I think the game designers working on this computer simulation we call 'reality' must have discovered Spice at some point in 2016.