Sickipedia

What's the difference between a priest and a torpedo? Tor.

White smoke has been seen coming from the Sistine Chapel. The Pope hasn't died, he's just torching his hard drive.

I know police seem to look younger as we age, but the copper who came to arrest the paedophile next door looked so young the peado got excited about it.

Abdul and myself were walking past a school when an absolute stunning young girl around 14 came out of the gate, she has everything, huge tits, long dark hair, a voluptuous arse and a beauty of a natural Spanish senorita. "Fuck me, " said Abdul, "I'll bet she was fit when she was younger. "

To whoever stabbed that fucking nonce Watkins, just to let you know Abdul next door to me fucks kids, and Mohammed on the other side does as well. When you get out, I can supply you with work for years.

It must be awful being a Paki teenage lad and your dad brings your new step mum home and she's only eight years old.

Singer Ian Watkins dies in prison attack. Sources have said it was karaoke night and the other prisoners didn't appreciate his version of the Motown classic 'Baby Love'.

A priest dies and his spirit is in the void when a voice calls to him, "Well my old son, you got it wrong, karma is the law of the universe and you need to go back and learn your lesson. " "I understand, " said the priest, "but please, don't send me back as a priest, the things I did I'm really sorry for and I will need to learn restraint and compassion. " "Oh, you don't get off that easy, " replied the voice, "you're going back as a choirboy. "

Prince Andrew to give up his royal titles. So he can spend more time hanging around school playgrounds.

I'm dating a 15 year old girl from Liverpool. I don't fancy her that much but her kids are drop dead sexy.