Sickipedia

My wife's demanding I go see the doctor to get something for my "impotence". "Not impotent, I have three wanks each night over Trump's sexy-as-fuck influencer Angela Rose, before I'd even think about wasting one on you."

Kemi Badenoch's net favourability is now at -39, exceeding her previous low of -38. All this despite her amazing triumphs of easily checking all the boxes.

I was on Who Wants to be a Millionaire and I got asked, "What was Margaret Thatcher's Maiden name; was it Grantham, Roberts, Blake, or Carnforth ?" "Huh, I always thought it was Cunt, but of all these I'm pretty sure it's Roberts."

I got contacted as a "Reliable Conservative" and asked if they can "count on me for Kemi" "I mean, I'll definitely leave her with a face with a Painter's Radio, but I'm all for Farage and Reform."

A 4th-grade teacher asks her class, "Who is a Trump fan?" The children, unsure of what a Trump fan is, all raised their hands except Little Johnny. The teacher asks why he's not a Trump fan. Little Johnny says, "Because I'm a Democrat". The teacher asks, "Why are you a Democrat?". Little Johnny says, "Because my mom is a Democrat and my dad is a Democrat, so that makes me a Democrat." The teacher says, "What if your mom is a moron and your dad is an idiot? What does that make you?. Little Johnny, with a smile, says, "That would make me a Trump fan".

After I criticised Kemi as being a full-plant diversity-hire, my mate Ron said perfunctorily like he's trained to do, "she's 'talented'." "At what.... being able to drink through a straw with fully clenched teeth ?"

Hi A.I can you generate a picture of Kier Starmer dancing on disabled pensioners graves, wearing Lord Ali’s free shoes while Lindsey Hoyle boards another private jet.

Kier Starmer really should be on Strictly, he'd fucking clean up Have you ever seen him dance on a disabled person's grave? Would give Kevin Bacon a run for his money

I apologise for calling Dogfucker14 an incel, I really do. He can't be "involuntary celibate". He rapes dogs

Four top Labour figures could beat Starmer in a Labour Party leadership race, poll finds. Boris fucking Johnson could beat Starmer in that one.