Sickipedia

Little miss scouse gets home from school, "Mummy mummy, I've been chosen to play Mary in the school nativity play. " "Wow darling that's brilliant. " "Yes mummy, I'll be just like you, pregnant without a fucking clue who the father is. "

I was fucking a Scouse girl when her baby started crying. Not wanting the attention, my first response was to run away from behind those wheelie bins.

After watching Wayne Rooney's punditry before, I'm surprised that bosses at the BBC thought he deserved more AAAIIIRRR time.

Just heard on the news, there will be a minute's silence before the charity shield match today. News agencies, please note: the day there isn't a fucking minute's silence before a Liverpool game, that will count as news.

Slot: Diogo will always be with us. Maudlin Scousers not realising he's taking the piss.

Liverpool have officially retired their No.20 shirt. In honour of the local retirement age.

I was fucking a Scouse schoolgirl in a public toilet, only for it to be all ruined when her baby started crying in the adjoining cubicle.

I hate being a Universal Credit worker in Liverpool. "Work" seems to be a four-letter word to Scousers.

A UFO landed in Liverpool and there was an alien abduction! Three scousers put one of them in the back of a transit van.

I'm not saying my bulimic anorexic wife has lost weight recently But she's looking thinner than a scouser's skin