Sickipedia

Poor Warwick Davis is now the sole bread winner in his household. As if it wasn't enough of a challenge already to put food on the table

There's a type of mustard gas that stays near the ground and only kills people less than 4 feet tall. It's used in chemical dwarfare.

I saw an attractive midget twirling coins on a table. It was a nice little money-spinner.

I was comforting a midget prostitute who was telling me her sad life and I put my hand on the middle of her leg. I'm ashamed to say I felt a little whore knee.

I decided to splash out and buy myself a classic, British, Two Seater Sports Car. I'm now the proud owner of an MG Person of Limited Stature.

Warwick Davis has decided to bury his wife down at the end of the garden between the hamster and the guinea pig

Well done to all the celebrities who showed their support for young Quaden Bayles. It's good to see he's happy and not grumpy anymore.

Peter Dinklage has slammed the remake of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, calling it 'backwards'. I guess he'll be playing Grumpy then.

The seven dwarfs go to the Vatican , and because they are the seven dwarfs, they are immediately ushered in to see the Pope. Grumpy leads the pack. 'Grumpy, my son,' says the Pope, 'What can I do for you?' Grumpy asks, 'Excuse me your Excellency, but are there any dwarf nuns in Rome ?' The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment and answers, 'No, Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome .' In the background, a few of the dwarfs start giggling. Grumpy turns around and glares, silencing them. Grumpy turns back, 'Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all of Europe ?' The Pope, puzzled now, again thinks for a moment and then answers, 'No, Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns in Europe . Grumpy then says, 'Mr.. Pope! Are there ANY dwarf nuns anywhere in the world?' The Pope, really confused by the questions says, 'I'm sorry, my son, there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world.' The other dwarfs collapse into a heap, rolling and laughing, pounding the floor, tears rolling down their cheeks, as they begin chanting...... 'Grumpy shagged a penguin!' 'Grumpy shagged a penguin."

Quick tip .. Never tell a group of thalidomide midgets they look weird. The fuckers come at you like a pack of velociraptors.