Sickipedia

A true story about my favourite comedian when I saw him at the Hackney Empire a few years ago. The show was being recorded to make a DVD. Frankie Boyle said of the missing eight-year-old Shannon Matthews, "Why is it the ugly ones always turn up?". He went on to say that "Uncle" Michael kept her under a bed when the major police investigation started, and that he shagged her but with a photocopy of Madeleine's face stuck on hers. I laughed, the audience gasped... it was the only part of the set that didn't make the DVD, but probably only for legal reasons. My point is this; nothing should be out of bounds. If your bag is Mrs Brown's Boys, Miranda, or the Vicar of Dibley, then fine... get on with it but don't invite me. No-one forces you to buy a ticket to a Frankie Boyle show, or to buy his DVD. People who argue otherwise are self-righteous finger-wagging cunts.

Science: There seems to be some confusion about Boyle's Law. Some believe it to be a law stating that the pressure of a given mass of an ideal gas is inversely proportional to its volume at a constant temperature. Whereas it is actually selling out as an edgy comedian and sucking up to the BBC to get a series by pretending to support LGBT issues and empathising with illegal immigrants because you want to send your bastard offspring to private school.

After a late night in the Smoke I thought Id have to be "Going Underground" to get back to my hotel and so as I got to Covent Garden I went "Down in a tube station at midnight" and you'll never guess who I saw? Frankie Fuckin Boyle.

Fucks sake Frankie Boyle, can you get back to your day job of sick fuckin humour and drop the bleeding heart, holier than though shite. Oh yeah and lose some weight and have a shave you fat, ginger, four eyed scruffy cunt.

It is heartwarming to see Rosie Jones at the forefront of the media, truly inclusive. We should not forget those that paved the way. Like that unintelligible ginger haired speccy twat jakey bawbag, Frankie Boyle.

I was surprised to learn Frankie Boyle’s woke comedy show is called ‘New World Order’. I thought ‘Never mind the stabbings’ would be more fitting.

That Susan Boyle scrubs up well when she runs a brush through her hair and a razor across her face.

They say if you want to find a drug dealer, walk into a pub and look for the ugliest bastard with the fittest bird. Right, I need some coke. Does anyone know which is Ed Sheerans local?

A man called Simon goes on "Stars in Their Eyes" and Matthew Kelly notices he's in a wheelchair. Matthew asks, "What happened?" "I was in a car crash with my uncle. He died and I had to have my legs amputated. But they saved my uncle's legs and grafted them onto me. In six months' time I will be able to walk again" "That's amazing!" says Matthew. "Who are you going to be for us tonight then?" "Tonight Matthew, I'm going to be.......Simon and half uncle!"

Someone told me that Frankie Boyle was dark and sick. The lying cunt, there I was imagining a dying Ethiopian but turns out he’s a pale, ginger Scot.