Sickipedia

Single women moan "there's no decent men left" and it does my head in - There's plenty of decent single men out there. But they aren't interested in an unemployed skank with two chavvy brats from her estranged "baby daddy" who wears a dressing gown to go out in public, stinks of dogshit and loneliness and has a gunt.

Princess Leia to Han Solo: "No, we aren't naming our baby 'guitar'!" Credit: someone on Facebook.

*spoiler alert*- Carrie Fischer isn't in next year's star wars movie

I guess jj abrams should have killed off princess Leia instead of Hans solo

Hi Markrees my BFF How are ya me old china get on to this sonny jim....Have you seen that advert where a blackie has walked over an obsticale course of plastic toys to get a bowl of crunchy nut corn flakes.....Why didnt he just kick all the lego and dinosaurs out of the way....just proves you cannot educate a nignog.....Ive been feeling like boiled shite lately.... and feeling guilty because every time i sneeze a fairy dies......mind you though....During the second world war.....everytime my grandad had a wank a fuckin Jew died....anyway i wont keep you as i know you are a very busy man bye

Katie Price The inventor of Female Genital Mutilation

"Carrie Fisher autopsy reveals she had cocaine, ecstasy and heroin in her system before she died" Which begs the question why was she on a plane? She could have fucking flown by herself.

I dare say 'Aardman' boss Nick Park will give a heart warming euology at 'Wallis and Gromit' star Peter Silas' funeral. I will be sorely dissappointed if someone dosent shout "CRACKING TOAST" at the end.

Cut Harrison Ford some slack! I mean we're talking about the man who flew the millennium falcon...he made the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs goddamnit. Clearly it was the 737s fault!

What did Carrie Fisher and Apollo 13 have in common? They both had a crack problem.