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Ex Girlfriend

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124

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one year ago

My ex used to talk more nonsensical rubbish than Malinda Kathleen Reese.

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Although she doesn't really like it, my ex puts up with me calling round and wanking over her tits. Since she broke her back.

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My ex used to love coming home to find me naked on her bed. Now she calls the police.

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They say some women have been around the block. In that case my ex is a bloody satnav.

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I've succeeded in getting my ex's number. Now I can order a Ferrari in her name. ;-)

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I thought my girlfriend was cheating on me, and that's why I killed the guy I saw her with. Now, she's not only dumped me, she expects me to pay for her brother's funeral.

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Ben Ofoedu was confiding to his father how much he stilled loved his ex girlfriend Vanessa Feltz, and couldn't get over her, "Don't worry son, " said his dad, " you'll soon get over her when you find another woman, there are plenty more whales in the sea. "

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The only thing my ex hasn't fucked is OFF

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I used to believe in things like Fate and Destiny. Then I realised those are just stripper names.

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The lack of Eurovision jokes proves my theory that none of us really have girlfriends.

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