Sickipedia

What weighs 250 tons and has an IQ of 500? A hundred americans

I've noticed a lot of Americans joining the site... But I supposed it's normal for them to join late after all the hard work has been done.

I had to go see my doctor today because I’m having an unusual problem. I say to him, “I’ve got a problem, every time I finish masturbating I sing the American national anthem”.The doctor said, “Don’t worry, a lot of wankers sing that”.

Hi GhenghislV Hope you are well Just read about an American woman called Lisa Sparks who got gangbanged in one day by a thousand men. Thats your wife that is.

ACTUAL QUOTE ON AN AMERICAN FORUM. "Is there like, any kind of like, video rental store but for books?. It would make it a lot cheaper, plus when one person had read it another person could get enjoyment from it" Fucking scary.

In a recent post because of my conservative opinions, I got mocked for "coming from a country where they give assault rifles to children on their First Christmas." I honestly don't see the problem though, i unwrapped an AR-15 from my parents when I turned 7 and it was fucking awesome.... and anyway a few days later that grizzly bear stood no fucking chance. (and also I still have a lifetime ban from the Indianapolis Zoo)

"It's not guns that kill people. It's people that kill people." Yeah, but guns help. As hard as I've tried I've never managed to kill anyone with a lettuce.

Me and my wife are just back from a holiday in America... The kids clothes are cheap as fuck over there at the minute, especially the back to school stuff... There was 10% off kids back to school trousers 20% off kids back to school jumpers And 25% off kids back to school bullet proof vests.

America.

My fat American neighbour jogs everyday with a bodyguard by his side... ...He's on the 'fitness protection program'...