Sickipedia

Scientists are saying that pig hearts may soon be transplanted into humans. Which is good news for everyone except Jewish and Muslim people...

Penguins mate for life. It's not like they'll find a better looking one is it?

My wife told me she's upset about the poor state of health of her elderly mother. "Just think of it like your mobile," I thoughtlessly replied, "That's also inevitably going to die within 2 years."

After that brave 100+ veteran said what he said correctly, that it wasn't worth it for what it is today, Queer Starmer was approached about if any "special action" needs to be taken, like with Diana. "No, just let time quickly run its course on this one."

Joe Biden picks up a hairbrush. Then, thinking it's a mirror, he looks at the underside of it and remarks, "God, I need a shave!"

My wife got mad in marriage counselling that I "never include her in any of my hobbies. "Rubbish... countless times I encouraged lardo to come along to our WWI reenactors group... she's ideal to be Big Bertha."

Not working 9 til 5

Experience, the comb life gives you when all your hair has fallen out.

The Mortal Hulk Hogan

When people get too old they take their driving licences off them so that they don't kill anyone on the road. This is what happens next..... They give them a mobility scooter so that they can kill every cunt on the pavement.