Sickipedia

So I was going down on this woman And I tasted horse semen, so I looked up face covered in splooge and said “oh, granny, so that’s how you died.”

Wayne Rooney may be showing solidarity with the Palestine Action protectors this weekend, it has been rumoured He says he won't have seen that many grannies in handcuffs since his leaving do at Plymouth

No no Wayne! Bournemouth's shirt sponsor is just an Asian gambling company

Do you think that when Kate Bush dies, David Fuller will want to beat about it?

To all those kids who are miffed about being palmed off to their gran's during the holidays... Think positive, you never know You might even get Wayne Rooney's autograph

A guy goes to the pub, and says to his friend, "you won't believe what happened. I was taking a short cut along the railway track, and I found a girl tied to it. I untied her, and then we had sex over and over again, all the positions, everything." His friend replies, "That's great! Did you get a blow job?" "No, I never found her head!!!"

I told Wayne Rooney I'd seen old women being picked up and fucked by the fuzz last weekend How gutted he was that it was just a demonstration and not a porn flick

What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute? A prostitute will stop fucking you after you're dead.

I had a wank over several images of my best mate's wife.........Maybe doing it over the autopsy photos was going a bit too far