Sickipedia

Penis size isn't everything in a relationship Ask my goat

Lots of guys name their penis, so I called mine Goldilocks. It's not small but it's also not too big. It's just right. And there's plenty of porridge for everyone.

I was about to have sex with this fat chick I picked up and she said, " Please don't break my heart". I assured her that my cock will not reach that far.

My new Asian mail-order bride just got here and is about 3 days out of the crate from Vietnam, and already she's complaining about my "absurdly tiny penis." "It's not like you aren't fucking used to it, where you're from," I said, as I carried on violently thrusting.

My wife heard about something called "The World's Limpest Erection Competition" and said, "We need to enter you in that for sure, you'd win hands down." I replied, "That's only an issue I have with you, because you're so fucking fat and ugly."

I stand firm with Israel. War always give me an erection.

After years of waiting for gender reassignment surgery I decided to do it myself. To be honest I'm surprised I managed to pull it off.

As I sat by the side of the bed with my head in my hands after yet another hour and a failed orgasm, my wife said, "that's it, we're getting you in to have you see a doctor about your ED !" "No, I think the problem is definitely you and your ugly fucking face; last week I was with this Asian whore and came easily in less than 15 seconds."

My mate Dave has a huge todger, not only is it long but also extra wide. Marital relations with his Mrs had to wait until she went into hospital for corrective Manhole Surgery !

My wife is going to America with some mates and it seems one of the activities they have planned is to check out some nature preserves. My wife can't stop talking about checking out the big Alabama blacksnake.