Sickipedia

Eric Clapton's wife shouted "Eric..put your sunglasses on, The son's cracking the flags out here"

The choir on Britain's Got Talent that consisted of family members of dismissing people was supposed to guest star Kate and Gerry McCann. But they forgot and went out for a meal instead.

Guys, nothing major like the queen dying caused the site to crash, all day, yesterday...It was just John Percival trying to log in with his accounts.

When Charlie Gard finally takes his last breath, will his mother still technically be a MILF?

Being a carnivore, I like to have the whole carcass to get lots of variety: ribs, liver, kidney, and all different types of joint straight off the bone. God, I’m lucky to have a missus that miscarries so often.

I asked the doctor if we could still abort the baby at 7 months. "Sir, your wife gave birth back in January."

As she lay there moaning on the bed, he slowly withdrew 12 inches of stiff, pink flesh from her warm moist vagina. This is not just a stillbirth, this is an M&S stillbirth.

Dec reveals he is going to be a dad. His wife Ali has already said she is going to have a cesarean-section "If the baby takes after him, there's no way I'd be able to push that forehead out of my cunt" she said.

My sister held one of those 'gender reveal' parties when she was pregnant. She popped the balloons, and the glitter was pink. In hindsight she should've gone with blue, as her daughter was stillborn.

"Can you go and check upstairs, I don't think the baby monitor is working. " Said my girlfriend. So I went upstairs, "Can you hear me, " I called through the monitor, "Yes. " She answered. "It is working then, " I replied, "what do you want me to do with the dead baby? "