Sickipedia

Wearing a mask during the pandemic has allowed me to silently mouth "you fucking cunt" at people getting drinks from me, but I'm finding it hard to remember not to do it now the masks have come off. I can tell you, it's making Communion fucking embarrassing.

America is storming Area 51 Let Europe storm the Vatican. America can have the Aliens. Europe will get the Predators.

Woman violently pushes anti-gay priest off stage mid-service in front of crowd of worshipers in Brazil .. Makes a change, he's normally tugged off by a 6 year old boy.

A priest was telling me about hell and the unhappiness, sorrow, and pain that awaits us sinners. Bit rich coming from a twat who's never been married.

"Do you know what happens when you die? " this priest said to me, "Well yes, " I replied, "The kids will argue over my shit, the wife will probably shag my brother again , and everybody who thinks I am a proper cunt will go round telling my family what a great bloke I was. "

Watching the funeral and it's safe to say that those alter boys are going to have a busy night with Andrew and the priests

It's important to wash and clean your sex toys. That's why priests invented baptism.

Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St. Peter. He says "Sisters, you all led such wonderful lives that I'm granting you six months to go back to earth and be anyone you want to be." The first nun says, "I want to be Sophia Loren;" and *poof* she's gone. The second says, "I want to be Madonna;" and *poof* she's gone. The third says, "I want to be Sara Pipalini." St. Peter looks perplexed. "Who?" he says. "Sara Pipalini;" replies the nun. St. Peter shakes his head and says; "I'm sorry, but that name just doesn't ring a bell." The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St. Peter. He reads the paper and starts laughing. He hands it back to her and says "No sister, the paper says it was the 'Sahara Pipeline' that was laid by 1,400 men in 6 months."

Not long after I had been ordained, I went to my superior bishop and made a complete confession... "I've given in to temptation and performed a completely disgusting act on one of the choir boys !" "Don''t say any more," said the bishop, "This is not the time or place for this." "You're right," I replied, "I'll turn myself into the police at once." "The police... heavens no !" he laughed, "I meant save it for Friday Night... We all meet at Flanagan's to swap stories like this !"

Two altar are boys talking, one says "I heard most people can't lick their own funny bone?" The other boy unzipped his fly and tried to lick his own dick. The first one said "that's not your funny bone you idiot !" The other says "father Murphy said it was, and his did taste funny"