Sickipedia

A lot of TV adverts go completely over my head now I'm older. I'm sure a lot of young people don't understand them either but they're sitting there going, "Oooooh! Pretty lights..."

Lidl management today said that because of the panic buying and pandemonium in their stores that they are taking drastic action and opening another till.

I plugged in my Les Paul, turned it up full and leaned it against my Marshall amp. I then held my phone beside it for a minute. That's the last time British Gas will ask me for some feedback.

I've just seen the new Batman shampoo in Tesco. I believe they are missing a key market by not producing a conditioner Gordon.

With 2nd lockdown looming, I saw a man with 4 cases of San Miguel, 5 paellas and 7 sombreros, I think Hispanic buying

After building my new wardrobe outside the IKEA store, I couldn't fit the thing in my car. I'm not sure their "Assembly Point" is such a good idea.

Just a quick heads-up, lads... Tesco are giving away free Christmas turkeys to anyone who can outrun their security guards.

Tesco says they are to axe 1,800 jobs in their bakeries. They hope the staff will find new rolls to fill.

I bought a fanny shaped Chinese vase at auction. Apparently it's from the Minge Dynasty.

The old war wound playing up again . . .