Sickipedia

They say the best way to get over an addiction is to substitute it with something else So to get myself to stop smoking I’ve decided to take up heroine

There's a new app that shows you how alcohol will age you. When I was a kid, we did this by looking at our father...

Don't drink and drive. I crashed my vehicle going over the speed limit; this made all the worse by the injured paramedics and the woman on the stretcher in the back.

Pray for me. My drinking problem has become so bad I've had to let the wife drive.

If I had a pound for every time someone said I drink too much... .... I'd have been able to afford a lot more drink.

I'm what they call a "functioning alcoholic." As long as my liver is functioning, I'm an alcoholic.

Dad died peacefully surrounded by family and friends - the funeral director's choice of words. They wouldn't allow 'We thought he was pulling a whitey'.

Not the first time Charlie's been taken at a political rally.

During my first driving lesson, I started vomiting a lot, whereupon my instructor immediately aborted it. I shouldn't have drunk that six pack of Heineken beforehand.

I regularly smuggle drugs between countries by hiding it up my arse. It may only be a 'teenth, and I'm only going from Chester to Rhyl, but you can't be too careful.