Sickipedia

I went dressed as a leaf for a Halloween party, one guy came in dressed as a leaf blower. Needless to say, it was awkward and we tried to avoid each other all night.

Could somebody please tell Tulisa that Halloween is over...

I went to the costume store to rent a Dracula outfit for Halloween. The clerk brought me a Trump costume. I told him he must have misheard me, " I said I wanted to look like a Count"

USA vs UK

My Halloween party is approaching and I was wondering what to dress as this year ? A zombie, a clown, a fat nonce, a dictator, a murderer, The damned or an escaped mental patient that loves Jimmy Saville ? I thought sod it I'll go as the bloody lot. So this year I'm going as Kier Starmer.

'Coldplay's Chris Martin falls through trapdoor at gig.' "He was a bad egg!" Said Willy Wonka-

I've just been to my Nan's house, and fair play to her, at 94, she had all the Halloween decorations up, cobwebs and live insects in the windows and a skeleton on the sofa. She always makes a big effort, but there was no answer. I'll pop back tomorrow!

Halloween must be a great time of the year for Jehovah's Witnesses. All they have to do is wear a mask and the chances of somebody actually opening the door, improve dramatically.