Sickipedia

I'm very envious of Wally the Walrus in Tenbay who at this moment is getting disturbed by jet skiers. I can't remember the last time my Ducky Dennis indulged me in watersport action. Ooooooooh.

Was dying for a piss when i was in town the other day so had to use the public toilets. 40p for a piss, so i thought fuck it i'll have a shit as well. Like getting my money's worth.

I hate it when my cock touches the bowl when I piss. I have to stand on a chair.

Welcome to the new Gary Haggarty/dupe joke/meme website...Sikipedia R.I.P

My new girlfriend thinks I'm the perfect man. Cos I always leave the toilet seat down and I never wee on it. She's gonna be furious when she finds out I piss in the sink

My wife said, "Why is the laptop all sticky?" I said, "It's not what you think, it's ice cream." She said, "How did you manage to get ice cream all over the laptop?" I said, "Have you ever tried eating an ice cream whilst masturbating?" Credit: SilverSprint off the old site. xxxx

"How's you're love life?" "I'm pissing in the wind" "No luck eh?" "Quite the opposite, I've met a kinky girl who likes golden showers while she farts"

Little 10 year old Max is desperate for some apple juice, but can't seem to find some anywhere. Eventually he come's across something bearing the same colour of apple juice and takes a swig of it It was at this moment Max's mother had returned home to collect her forgotten sample for the doctors...

Supergrass/rattler walks into a bar.... Everyone gets up and leaves because no one likes him. So he crys into his blue wkd and goes.home to take it out on all of us. Come on then, ya cunt.

♪♫ I'm a secret lemonade drinker ♫♪ Isn't that a euphemism for piss?