Sickipedia

My daughter's about to give birth. The kid will have me as a grandfather on both sides. Boom Boom!

As a parent, it caught me unawares when my oldest daughter started menstruating. Boy was my face red.

My grand-niece was visiting and she said "Grandpa, do you want to be in a video ?.... No, not that kind of video, this one's just going on Youtube."..... "Right, I'll put my clothes back on."

I uneasily said, "Ma, you think it's a bit weird, after all these years, what we've been doing ?"..... "Nonsense, it's absolutely lovely, how you turn up with flowers, saying 'You just can call me Oedipus'."

I was sexually abused by my aunt when I was a child. But I forgave her as she let me suck her lovely tits.

"Phrases you may hear at the dinner table or in the bedroom" I like my mums better.

Condom ads during family time is so awkward Nearly ruined our orgy

When I was at school, a kid said to me "my dad's bigger than your dad" I thought to myself "that's weird, when has he seen both our dad's with a hard on?"

I broke my New Years Resolution today and wanked in my daughters face cream again

My girlfriend has the same name as my mum, which is quite handy when we're fucking. I don't have to worry about accidently calling out my girlfriend's name.