Sickipedia

Why can't orphans be gay? They have no one to call daddy.

My feet are so cold. They just said my parents never loved me.

Give me a V! V! Give me a P! P! Give me an N! N! What does it spell? KIMJONGTRUMP!

People judge the quality of females with various criteria Failing to realise that the best and simplest way is to measure how much they use the word 'literally'

I wonder if Elton John's kids were able to find a 'Happy Mother's Gay' card.

Not having an abortion shows real de termination.

I bet Harry's father will be watching the Oprah interview debacle through his fingers. So will Charles be, I expect.

Cory Chase has got more step kids than Alf and Pippa Stewart.....( one for the old wankers out there. Inc myself!)

A little three year old boy is sitting on the toilet. His mother thinks he has been in there too long, so she goes in to see what's up. The little boy is sitting on the toilet reading a book. But about every 10 seconds or so he puts the book down, grips onto to the toilet seat with his left hand and hits himself on top of the head with his right hand. His mother says: "Billy, are you all right? You've been in here for a while" Billy says: "I'm fine, mommy…i just haven't gone 'doody' yet." Mother says: "ok, you can stay here a few more minutes. But, Billy, why are you hitting yourself on the head?" Billy says: "works for ketchup."

I renamed my dog Awesome, just so I can say "I'm fucking Awesome!"