Sickipedia

The keyboard player in our band committed suicide after his Hammond c70, Moog 361 and Casio with a built in valve and leslie keyboards all broke down at once. The coroner said he died of multiple organ failure.

Muktar singh has set the world speed record for a man on a bicycle, 110 miles an hour, in india yesterday . He was on a level crossing when he was hit by a train .

Note to self: Don’t point a black L-shaped thing towards your head and press on its right angle.

I found my gay son sat on the edge of his bed crying and holding a length of rope in his hands. "What's going on?" I demanded. "I've had enough dad," he sobbed, "I'm a disappointment to everyone and I'm going to end it all!" "Give me that rope you stupid boy!" I said, snatching it off him. "That's not how you tie a noose for fucks sake!"

While walking past the skyscraper I was very surprised by the thing that nearly landed on me. A gay man.

Goodbye cruel world..........

There's a simple answer for all those miserable cunts complaining about the cost of living. Suicide.

'Irish Rail add extra Dublin trains for Ed Sheeran's Croke Park gigs-' "Some people will inevitably be committing suicide after listening to his music-" Irish Rail said...

It's my first night shift tonight in my new job as a prison officer and I'm on suicide watch. Brilliant, I've never seen anyone kill themselves before. Hope it's a hanging.

Reduce the UK suicide rate by 80%. Ban Adele records.