Sickipedia

I was on the toilet at Asda when I heard a Woman's voice coming through a hole in the wall... She said "if you pop £10 through the hole I'll suck you off" I thought yeh I'm having some of that, and shoved a tenner through then my erect cock ....unfortunately the wall was 3 inches thick.

Back in the day i didn't know 'Oral B' was a toothbrush. I thought she was the sluttier member of the Spice girls.

Tiptoe through the tulips..Well i'm telling you Tiny Tim, Ducky Dennis will be skipping his willy in and out between my two lips tonight.

Last night I shagged the missus up the arse then she sucked my shitty cock off till I came in her mouth. But this morning I'm the disgusting pig for drinking milk straight from the bottle

I've got a lovely treat lined up for my girlfriend's birthday later. I'm going to wash my cock.

I had one of my little toothies taken out today and the stud muffin denist said "Last thing tonight, gargle with warm salty water". I replied. "Tonight i will be gargling something warm and salty ducky...but it wont be water.

Just read on the BBC news website that smaller turkeys are on the menu for Christmas. Nothing wrong with a little gobbler. Oooooooooh

Ducky Dennis said to me, "Oh Quenty Quins, you are wasting so much money on cigarettes, why not pack them in". I replied, "I don't think so darling, you know i enjoy a good puff and a suck on a Fag". Ooooooh.

*child spits out food* mom: "hey! we don't spit. if it's in your mouth, you swallow" *dad raises eyebrows* mom: "shut the fuck up"

Ringing AA 5mins in