Sickipedia

Went out drinking with a bunch of blokes that work in the tanning factory . We got absolutely leathered.

My mate is looking to get his garden ready for a party next week, I told him to try a local builders in Oxford.. ..They have the best grasses. Credit Bob Down.

Coastguard intercepts boat off Columbia with 2 metric tonnes of cocaine. Or, as Maradona would have called it, Breakfast!

Shaun Ryder has lost all hair from his body. He thinks the new wig he's ordered will help.. "It's a Kinky Afro, Loose Fit and Bob's yer Uncle."

My wife thinks I've a got a drink problem just because I like a Bailey's at Christmas. I'd hardly call it a problen. Even I find it a bit sickly after the fifth pint.

Most people think the the bee on the Manchester coat of arms represents a city dedicated to industry and hard work. That's bullshit, It's actually because most of the cunts are buzzin their tits off on booze and drugs ...

One day Whisky drinkers will have equal rights. I Have a Dram.

I emailed tripadvisor.com last night, I only asked them if I would get a better high from LSD or magic mushrooms. No Reply. Totally fucking useless.

I hate the look my wife gives me when she hears me opening a can of lager. It makes me feel like a right alcoholic. Not everyone wants milk on their corn flakes ffs.

Sickipedia: WASP-free for 48+ hours Now that IS funny.