Sickipedia

A homeless asylum-seeker came up to me with a bunch of magazines and said, "Big Issue?" "Yeah you are", I said "Fuck off back to bongo-bongo land"

The paki neighbour was moaning about "how bad he has it" and that because of cuts to his allowance, he has to make sacrifices this year. "For the big bang-up family vacation, this year, we can all only go to Disneyland, not Disney World !"

26 die when migrant boat sinks. Nigel Farage says it was a terrible tradegy, there were 60 survivors.

Al Murray - Name any country in the world, we've defeated them It's the little rubber dinghies that's been the unsolvable problem.

After the Southend plane crash there were a large number of people bringing things. Some brought flowers. Some brought cards. Some brought candles. And the local authority brought Benefit claim forms.........as its what they would have wanted.

Once the Monkees took the Last Train to Clarksville. Now they take the first boat to Dover.

You never know. One of these small boats might contain the next English manager to win the Premier League

I had my Muslim neighbour with his gold watch and flash car tell me today how bad Elon Musk is in the USA is because apparently he's looking for fraud over there and cutting everyone's benefits. "You have no idea how much I wish he'd take a good hard look through all your shit."

TOP TIP: HOME OFFICE Save time, expense and bad publicity about small boat crossings by simply telling asylum seekers that the UK is at the bottom of the sea

Some libtards at work were crying about what's going on with the migrants in America and that Trump's going to "rip apart the families." "No, it's even better, he's going to deport the entire families back to the shitty hellholes together."