Sickipedia

Jehovah's Witness don't celebrate Halloween. I guess they don't appreciate random people knocking on their door.

Has anyone seen Alice? If you have can you let me know. The reason I am asking is that we have Trump in the White house, Boris in No. 10, A Black Female James Bond, the woman's England Football team better than the mens, and England have won the World Cup in Cricket. We must be through the fucking looking glass now, people!!!!

My wife reckons God created only two genders. She's wrong. God created one gender and a rib. But I wouldn't expect a rib to know that.

"Are you stupid? We have all this paradise and you want me to rebel and eat the fruit of the only tree we have been instructed not to touch? I'm sorry Eve, there's nothing you can ever do that will make me go against our creators instructions. " It was at that point that the worlds first blow job occurred.

Eve: "Go on Adam, take a bite." Adam: "No Eve, God has forbidden it as the ultimate sin and will cast us out of Eden. I cannot defy the word of my Lord." Eve: "Oh go on Adam. I'll let you feel my tits." Adam:. "O.K. What the fuck!"

I’ve just got home from Amsterdam. How the fuck did it take the Nazis so long to find Anne Franks house? There are signs all over the city.

Mary: "Are you not bothered that our son is going to be crucified and suffer horrible pain and death?" Joseph: "Our son? get his fucking dad to sort it. "

If you get an email or a Whatsapp with the subject "ding dong" don't open it. It's the Jehovah's Witnesses working from home.

In the spirit of togetherness during this crisis I have set up a telephone line for Buddhists who want to remain close to their spiritual animal cousins as well as their spiritual leader. Dial-a-llama

Some proper arrogant selfish twats about. I don't give a fuck what his name is, if he walks on the water again when I'm fishing, I'll crucify the cunt.