Sickipedia

I now understand the definition of focus and tunneled vision determination of the task at hand. Knocking one out over Gabby Logan while she is on screen with three football pundits.

"G-g-g-granville , fer-fer fetch yer cloth" Great line to repeat from Open All Hours Not so good as you're spunking on the Mrs

I ended up putting half a load into the washing machine earlier. Only because I nicked my ball sack in the detergent drawer and shot the rest of my load over the kitchen worktop.

I must give up wanking. I need to knock it on the head.

After having sex with Jennifer Aniston yesterday, I can tell you 3 things. 1) She is very tight and I had to struggle to get it in 2) She will gladly take it all over her face and not say a word 3) The staff at the wax museum have no sense of humour.

What do a suicide bomber and a premature ejaculator have in common? Both are terrified of going off early

'Pope Francis died of stroke and heart failure - Vatican-' "My heart is too weak for an orgasm like that!" Were the pope's last words after the alter boy finished wanking him off...

My wife is a fan of 'Happy Hour' However, she's not a fan of 'Sad Minute'

Bukkake jokes aren't funny Come on guys

I was horrified when my wife admitted she had an affair with a GP at our surgery who used to spunk over her feet. He wasn't her main doctor though, just a locum.