Sickipedia

I've always been unlucky in my love life so I ordered a book from Amazon called "How to Woo". The cunts sent me volume 2 of the Beijing telephone directory.

I tell women that I'm responsible for a large team of web developers. I find it gets a better reception than saying I live in a bedsit with a spider infestation.

It's ridiculous to say that dressing like a slut will get you raped. I tried it last night and I just got the shit kicked out of me.

I was shagging this girl from Barnsley, weird thing was as l was pumping away she kept shouting out the name of some cartoon belgian detective . Tin Tin! ....Tin Tin!

A young dolphin, having just watched two blue whales humping, was thinking about the facts of life and how the whales got together in the first place. He turned to his mum and said “Mum, how did you and dad meet ?” “Son” she said “We were following a fishing boat scavenging dead fish and your dad and I collided as we went for the same dead tuna fish. He backed off and let me have the tuna, it was very gallant of him” “What happened next Mum” “We just clicked son”.

A gorgeous woman waved to me at the beach yesterday. But there was no way I was swimming out that far to talk with her.

I phoned my boss on Monday morning and said, 'I'm afraid I'm not going to make it in today. I've pulled something.' He said, 'Bloody hell, it's going to be busy today. Can you walk?' I replied, 'Sure I can. But she's insisting I take her out for breakfast.'

Boris stated that from Wednesday 13th May, you can go drive somewhere and meet one person. Is this not the same as dogging? Asking for a friend.

According to statistics, 1% of this country's population registers as being Lesbian. I don't believe it and think it is much more; at least 4/5ths of all the women I have ever propositioned have told me that they are Lesbians.

Life consists of avoiding people you have seen naked..while trying to find new people to see naked?