Sickipedia

My Italian friend has just lost both of his hands in a horrific accident. His doctor is worried that he may never talk again!

Patient: so, do you think me being hard of hearing has contributed to my bird phobia? Doctor: maybe a smidgen. Patient: WHAT?!? WHERE?!?

Rory Kinnear. He's not deaf

The Tale of the Mute Red Indian Chapter 1 He lost the ability to speak many years ago, he couldn't say how

I'm on holiday in Spain, for a week of sun, sand, sea, sex and sangria. I'd be enjoying it more if it wasn't for this fucking lisp.

I went to the doctor's. I was concerned about my hearing and being unable to father a child. He confirmed I had hearing problems, but it wasn't all bad. He also told me I was important.

Day 9 of being a complete cunt to everyone I see. I fucking love vaginuary.

I'll tell you what, you can say what you like about deaf people......

In public, The Spice Girls have been respectful of Victoria's decision not to go on tour with them. In private they're delighted that they don't have to worry if she'll notice her mic is switched off.

Victoria Beckham has declined to take part in The Spice Girls new tour Replicating her contribution the first time round.